Convergence

Doing IT work for a paycheck, playing the piano two to four hours a day, reading literature, playing tennis, being in a loving, committed relationship, tending to family, caring for pets, maintaining a household, going to church, cultivating friends. Lots of pieces that often don’t fit neatly together.  They all are important to me, but where are the common threads?

At least a few of them were nicely woven together for me by George Saunders Congratulations, by the Way: Some Thoughts on Kindness.  This tiny book is a cleaned up version of his 2013 Syracuse commencement address. It's short and conversational, a good example of the new style of commencement addresses by famous people: low on formality, high on sincerity.  Saunders is a great fiction writer. His stories are full of imagination, complexity, and contradictions.  They challenge and puzzle us, but his commencement address is by comparison simple. How refreshing that a leader in the intellectual world reminds us about the importance of spiritual values, of kindness, of the need to combat selfishness, and of the purity and goodness that resides in each of us. It’s a message I hear regularly at church (Unity Palo Alto), but to get it from Saunders does connect a few strands for me.

In the last few years I have learned a few lessons. Making demands, even just politely asking the people around you to treat you the way you want to be treated doesn't usually get you what you want.  The only way to get it is to give it, freely and unconditionally.  No strings, no explanations, no fuss.  Doors will open, doors you perhaps have never seen or imagined.  Give your love, offer your insights and your music, give your best athletic skills and your best attitude on the tennis court, be a good friend, a good worker, be a caring partner. It really is that simple. The rest will take care of itself.