Nixon: A Joke

For those of us that lived through the late 60's and the first half of the 70's, there's nothing like a Nixon paranoia joke.  The man was brilliant, but was crippled by paranoia.  So in the height of the Watergate mess Nixon decides to relax a bit and go to an NFL game.  He goes to a Baltimore Colts game (yes, the Colts were in Baltimore then, and the only Manning was Archie, the father).  He enjoys the game and decides to exercise a presidential prerogative and go to the Baltimore lockerroom after the game.  While there he can't help but notice that so many of the players are remarkably well endowed.  He is so fascinated he decides to inquire.  He tentatively approaches Bubba Smith (Police Academy) and asks him why the players are so generously endowed.  Bubba says that the technique is a secret, but since it's the President asking, he'll have to tell the truth.   "Mr. President, all you have to to is whack it against the bedpost three times every night
before you get into bed.  After a few weeks, you'll be amazed at the results."  Nixon is incredulous, but thanks Bubba nonetheless.  That night Nixon is about to get into bed.  Pat is already asleep in the big bed at the White House.  Nixon thinks about what Bubba said.  "What do I have to lose?"  So he whacks it three times against the bedpost.  Pat stirs a bit and mumbles, "Is that you, Bubba?".